Prasanna's blog and comments are very interesting. He has made some right points, but tamra parni acharya is talking about brahmanatva.. being a frog and being a brahmin are two different things .. a person is called brahmin only because he practices brahminism by kaya vacha manasa in front of others .. the fact that sanyasis and brahmins go outside india .. there is no acknowledegement for their rituals and practices.. and since the position of a pontiff is very high, you need pramanas that this person has performed all the brahminical rituals ..because its hard to prove, may be they say not to travel ..
But over two to three decades world is becoming small er and days have changed and our people are there everywhere and are trying to practice the brahminism in their own small way or big way ... but its unfortunate our own community back home does not support us and help us to be religious in the foriegn land !!
Neither god nor sanyasi's have any problem .. its the others who are not related are causing chaois thats why the wise say devaru vara kotru poojari vara koda !
Ii appreciate Prasanna's spirit to come forward and express his views in the interest of Brahmins in US. But he has to keep in mind that all me and you and many others want is the swamiji to be accepted by brahmins back home and to do krishna pooja.. so keeping the big picture in mind and we have to be respectful about others thoughts also..and not get into personal allegations
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Be a part of something
Today i had been to a satyanarayana pooja.. there i met rajani, latha and kalpana aunty and their other family members .. after working like a donkey for all 5 days and being in that daily routine, meeting some new faces were really refreshing.
Iam of the opinion that its very important for a person to be connected to an activity, group or to a religion otherwise no matter what it gets boring. one just needs to forget everything and get involved or involve yourself so much that you forget about everything that bothers you...
Another thing what i have seen and experienced over the years is that, a person seeks constant change unknowingly.. we might not like to admit it, but its true.. i have often wondered how it would be spend 24 hours of days to do something what we like to do, or be with someone whom we like to be with , or to be with your parents, or your siblings ..or your own best friends .. or what if we had to read or write continuously..or party always .. or work always ... well, no prizes for guessing ..of course it gets boring .. and we might not feel strongly about it anymore .. cos we are too familiar with the situation...so life is all about balancing little bit of everything on time...
talking of life times.. no phase in this life is stretched!! .. its just sufficient enough to enjoy and to make transit to the next phase.. which also makes time very very important ..one might try and keep the body strong.. but keeping the mind strong and fresh becomes challenging.. as we age it becomes less curious and more predictable ..
..Soo its important to feel alive and to have small pleasures in life....and that can happen only when we participate and get involved and do something for the pleasure of doing it ..
So be a part of a family, a friend, a religion, an event, a team , a project, .. be a part of life !!
Iam of the opinion that its very important for a person to be connected to an activity, group or to a religion otherwise no matter what it gets boring. one just needs to forget everything and get involved or involve yourself so much that you forget about everything that bothers you...
Another thing what i have seen and experienced over the years is that, a person seeks constant change unknowingly.. we might not like to admit it, but its true.. i have often wondered how it would be spend 24 hours of days to do something what we like to do, or be with someone whom we like to be with , or to be with your parents, or your siblings ..or your own best friends .. or what if we had to read or write continuously..or party always .. or work always ... well, no prizes for guessing ..of course it gets boring .. and we might not feel strongly about it anymore .. cos we are too familiar with the situation...so life is all about balancing little bit of everything on time...
talking of life times.. no phase in this life is stretched!! .. its just sufficient enough to enjoy and to make transit to the next phase.. which also makes time very very important ..one might try and keep the body strong.. but keeping the mind strong and fresh becomes challenging.. as we age it becomes less curious and more predictable ..
..Soo its important to feel alive and to have small pleasures in life....and that can happen only when we participate and get involved and do something for the pleasure of doing it ..
So be a part of a family, a friend, a religion, an event, a team , a project, .. be a part of life !!
what others think of you..
Today i was having heart to heart chat with my aunt about my brother and we discussed everything about our property problems.. and how it effected us ... and how its still effecting us...
After hearing what i had to say about my bothers behaviour in past couple of months... my aunt tells me that my brother has become a revolt as he has no work to do and its all because of empty mind and that's the reason why he could be quarrelling with his mother and father and actually he might not have any problems with my mother and might like my mother more than me !!!.. and that left a bad taste in my mouth.. is this the image that she has about me ?
From the childhood i have got this image .. I'm not able to label what it is.. but the image is that i am a very adamant person. On the contrary I'm the most vulnerable person in my entire family... I have seen so much of quarrel and drama.. i'am a passive aggresive person.. Iam not a hypocrite.. and i try to avoid confrontations and quarrels as much as possible .. .i feel once you confront someone things will never be the same...
I have swalloed all my bitter experiences with patience and a smile on the face...
I cant do it anymore.. also its not right to accept things at face value.. if i cant fight for myself.. who else will ... what will i gain by not speaking ?
so its time to change .. and I will change for a better me .. and for leaving good impressions on others..
After hearing what i had to say about my bothers behaviour in past couple of months... my aunt tells me that my brother has become a revolt as he has no work to do and its all because of empty mind and that's the reason why he could be quarrelling with his mother and father and actually he might not have any problems with my mother and might like my mother more than me !!!.. and that left a bad taste in my mouth.. is this the image that she has about me ?
From the childhood i have got this image .. I'm not able to label what it is.. but the image is that i am a very adamant person. On the contrary I'm the most vulnerable person in my entire family... I have seen so much of quarrel and drama.. i'am a passive aggresive person.. Iam not a hypocrite.. and i try to avoid confrontations and quarrels as much as possible .. .i feel once you confront someone things will never be the same...
I have swalloed all my bitter experiences with patience and a smile on the face...
I cant do it anymore.. also its not right to accept things at face value.. if i cant fight for myself.. who else will ... what will i gain by not speaking ?
so its time to change .. and I will change for a better me .. and for leaving good impressions on others..
getting back to work
its been four days i have started working in my new job..it feels just great to be back in work place .. working in a team .. attending meetings( actually i still don't like it )..being a part of some project ..
I have come a long way from joining IPPL .. moving to bigger companies .. going to Germany.. moving to us .. being jobless.. and telecommuting .. and finally joining this new job.. the company and work culture reminds me the days of IPPL....
my team and manager are nice people .. i hope to learn and grow with this company .. another good news is i am buying the car tonight .. i have already purchased the insurance .. i'am excited .. but have to wait for a while before i use it.
the time i came to US till now .. it has been very stressful on different levels .. first i am not comfortable living in someone else house for a long time .. second is living without paying for the comforts can be sooo stressful.. its so hard for me that i forget to enjoy the things i like.. third is being in the house all by yourself and fourth is no real involvement in any activity .. i hope all these change with me taking up this new job .. iam really crossing my fingers .. i wish that i enjoy this time..
I have come a long way from joining IPPL .. moving to bigger companies .. going to Germany.. moving to us .. being jobless.. and telecommuting .. and finally joining this new job.. the company and work culture reminds me the days of IPPL....
my team and manager are nice people .. i hope to learn and grow with this company .. another good news is i am buying the car tonight .. i have already purchased the insurance .. i'am excited .. but have to wait for a while before i use it.
the time i came to US till now .. it has been very stressful on different levels .. first i am not comfortable living in someone else house for a long time .. second is living without paying for the comforts can be sooo stressful.. its so hard for me that i forget to enjoy the things i like.. third is being in the house all by yourself and fourth is no real involvement in any activity .. i hope all these change with me taking up this new job .. iam really crossing my fingers .. i wish that i enjoy this time..
Today was a very good day cos i got the receipt no !!! yahhooo :))..
when i woke up from bed .. i was so dejected.. nobody was around .. i did not had anything to do .. no responsibilities.. the stillness of the house was erring so much i decided to put some music in laptop ...and i though let me check my mails as well and there was an alert from visanow.. and when i logged in and checked the website .. yahoo.. the receipt no !!!..
i immediately mailed mama and aunty and also called Holly, and i asked her if we can stop the PP and she agreed and said she will speak with the lawyers and see ... she also mentioned about the orientation program and said i will have to commute to Bethlehem which was contradicting to what the recruiter had told me... so i also mailed the recruiter about the receipt and also about the hotel accommodation.
just to be on top of the issues i mailed visanow guys ....then spoke to mama, aunty and by then nagesh the recruiter mailed back saying they will definitely pay for my accommodation and he can drop me off monday morning if i want ..i mailed him back that when i spoke Holly she mentioned that coming monday she will be in Bridgewater and next day she will be Bethlehem. So he said ok..let me know if you need to be dropped off..
around 1PM i mailed holly if she heard from visanow about pp refund amout and also about hotel accommodation during orientation ..she immediately mailed saying.. they did not give her the figures.. and about the accommodation i can book in holiday inn express near the office .. by then I had a missed call and vmail from zahra.. so i immediately emailed them my resignation email and in that i had mentioned that i have found a full time opportunity..after couple of hours when i checked back both zahra and craig had called on my cell and craig had replied to my email .. craig replied back saying why did i not tell them that i was looking for full time opportunity ? how dumb !!.. anyways i replied back saying fortunately it turned out to be a fulltime job .. by evening i also heard from visanow guys that they will refund 1000$ in 2-3 weeks.. so everything kind of got settled ..
mama aunty came back and we discussed about confusion with hotel reservation ..i.e if its on me or on the company .. and after that mama called the hotel guys to get the exact location and charges and other things ..and then we found that it has to be billed on my CC only initially and i hope it gets reimbursed later.
Its night now and just now i finished oota.. I had simple anna saru and anna majjige.. while i was doing oota.... aunty had gone to light the lamps in gods room and she was furious that somebody had kept the idols on ground !!.. i told her that i did it ... she asked me to keep it properly on next day ! then she came to oota but she was not okay..
In the morning today i tried to clean the small idols on the wooden thing in the pooja room.. they are the ones that are given to mama and aunty at a function or as a gift .. they are not worshipped but are just kept near the gods ..
honestly i tried to keep everything as it was .. and i have missed couple of them i guess.. i kept thinking i have missed something.. but could not make out at all what i have missed... i have lost my sharpness and have become forgetful so i don't do anything when nobody is around .. cos i don't know if i do something wrong ...
when i woke up from bed .. i was so dejected.. nobody was around .. i did not had anything to do .. no responsibilities.. the stillness of the house was erring so much i decided to put some music in laptop ...and i though let me check my mails as well and there was an alert from visanow.. and when i logged in and checked the website .. yahoo.. the receipt no !!!..
i immediately mailed mama and aunty and also called Holly, and i asked her if we can stop the PP and she agreed and said she will speak with the lawyers and see ... she also mentioned about the orientation program and said i will have to commute to Bethlehem which was contradicting to what the recruiter had told me... so i also mailed the recruiter about the receipt and also about the hotel accommodation.
just to be on top of the issues i mailed visanow guys ....then spoke to mama, aunty and by then nagesh the recruiter mailed back saying they will definitely pay for my accommodation and he can drop me off monday morning if i want ..i mailed him back that when i spoke Holly she mentioned that coming monday she will be in Bridgewater and next day she will be Bethlehem. So he said ok..let me know if you need to be dropped off..
around 1PM i mailed holly if she heard from visanow about pp refund amout and also about hotel accommodation during orientation ..she immediately mailed saying.. they did not give her the figures.. and about the accommodation i can book in holiday inn express near the office .. by then I had a missed call and vmail from zahra.. so i immediately emailed them my resignation email and in that i had mentioned that i have found a full time opportunity..after couple of hours when i checked back both zahra and craig had called on my cell and craig had replied to my email .. craig replied back saying why did i not tell them that i was looking for full time opportunity ? how dumb !!.. anyways i replied back saying fortunately it turned out to be a fulltime job .. by evening i also heard from visanow guys that they will refund 1000$ in 2-3 weeks.. so everything kind of got settled ..
mama aunty came back and we discussed about confusion with hotel reservation ..i.e if its on me or on the company .. and after that mama called the hotel guys to get the exact location and charges and other things ..and then we found that it has to be billed on my CC only initially and i hope it gets reimbursed later.
Its night now and just now i finished oota.. I had simple anna saru and anna majjige.. while i was doing oota.... aunty had gone to light the lamps in gods room and she was furious that somebody had kept the idols on ground !!.. i told her that i did it ... she asked me to keep it properly on next day ! then she came to oota but she was not okay..
In the morning today i tried to clean the small idols on the wooden thing in the pooja room.. they are the ones that are given to mama and aunty at a function or as a gift .. they are not worshipped but are just kept near the gods ..
honestly i tried to keep everything as it was .. and i have missed couple of them i guess.. i kept thinking i have missed something.. but could not make out at all what i have missed... i have lost my sharpness and have become forgetful so i don't do anything when nobody is around .. cos i don't know if i do something wrong ...
Today was another event less day .. as soon as i woke up zahra called me .. i told her about the interview with covansys guy and also expressed my concern about the layers ..zahra is coming across as a very shrewd person ... i ask her anything and she only asks me to do everything.. i guess its time for me also to start speaking out and be outspoken and see what happens.
I felt that today passed away very quickly .. just when i had finished speaking with amma and was done with checking my emails deepta was home .. and soon surabi also came .. both deepta and surabi were very excited today as they got microsoft zune today , zune's display is awesome ..
i also got to see bhool bhulaiya's some parts over youtube.. infact the whole movie is there .. since i have already seen the kannada version.. i did not have the patience to watch the movie.. instead i directly watched the ending scenes .. i must admit i was little scared .. phew .. i should not have watched it ..anyways will get over with it (hopefully!)
today's dinner was nice cos it had little bit of everything, actually i like it .. but after eating heavy festival meals for a week now, i want to eat simple food. after dinner surabi and vidya aunty made banana strawberry milkshake .. it tasted good...its still lingering in my mouth.
i had posted a question about h1 transfer premium processing to visanow.. buggers are writing now that they can apply only when they get the receipt, and thats the reason i went for it in the first place !! My ignorence is costing me money.... its all my damn fault .. i dont know when i will improve with bloody approach to problems .. damn i feel so stupid ..i feel like cancelling the process.. and i might lose 200$..i am feeling so shapeless rt now..
I felt that today passed away very quickly .. just when i had finished speaking with amma and was done with checking my emails deepta was home .. and soon surabi also came .. both deepta and surabi were very excited today as they got microsoft zune today , zune's display is awesome ..
i also got to see bhool bhulaiya's some parts over youtube.. infact the whole movie is there .. since i have already seen the kannada version.. i did not have the patience to watch the movie.. instead i directly watched the ending scenes .. i must admit i was little scared .. phew .. i should not have watched it ..anyways will get over with it (hopefully!)
today's dinner was nice cos it had little bit of everything, actually i like it .. but after eating heavy festival meals for a week now, i want to eat simple food. after dinner surabi and vidya aunty made banana strawberry milkshake .. it tasted good...its still lingering in my mouth.
i had posted a question about h1 transfer premium processing to visanow.. buggers are writing now that they can apply only when they get the receipt, and thats the reason i went for it in the first place !! My ignorence is costing me money.... its all my damn fault .. i dont know when i will improve with bloody approach to problems .. damn i feel so stupid ..i feel like cancelling the process.. and i might lose 200$..i am feeling so shapeless rt now..
This is my first Blog after coming to US. I have felt like pouring my thoughts in the blog several times. But somehow i lose focus and give up.. lets see how far i can go this time ..:)
Today is 21 october 2007 .. sunday and its vijayadasmi.. today morning there was vijayadasmi pooje in one of VMS members house. everyone attended but i could not go ..
morning i got to chat with shubha for a very long time.. about friends, hobbies and marriage. I see her doing the same mistake as i did and since she expressed her thoughts to me i took the liberty to tell her not to settle down(especially) in friendships cos sooner or later, intentionally or unintentionally friends do part with us. so its important to make it a habit to question what if we do not have this person around us or not have this comfort? and see if we can answer these questions. .. and have an idea that we eventually we will lose everything and its better to be prepared for a change.. because change is the only thing that is constant in this life.
when we were chatting about marriage..she asked me if anyone had proposed me .. it was soo funny.. cos nobody has proposed to me so far .. lol ... i wonder why :))D .. even now i cant stop grinning and giggling .. its strange.. but its true .. cos either my male colleagues were married or were younger to me .. how boring na... These days my silence is kind of freaking me out .. its bcos from past three weeks .. everyday ..3/4th of a day I'm alone. I don't speak with myself also!!! like how appa or ravi used to keep muttering something to themselves when they are alone .. After going through so many traumatic feelings and silently suffering for more than 10 years my health and body has started to given up on me.. now I'm a full time asthma patient.. i remember my father ,chikkamma, ranganna mama and murali mama.. that's pretty much half the family !.. i sud be thankful to god for keeping me non asthmatic at least till now.. I feel like calling my mother and telling her how difficult it is for me to breathe .. but cant hear her sob over the phone .. Surabi came just now and peeked into the full size mirror to see her outfit is wearable and likable to school....there is something very appealing about her... but her tantrums in gods room are not tolerable...she is a such a cute, sweet happy child...
Today is 21 october 2007 .. sunday and its vijayadasmi.. today morning there was vijayadasmi pooje in one of VMS members house. everyone attended but i could not go ..
morning i got to chat with shubha for a very long time.. about friends, hobbies and marriage. I see her doing the same mistake as i did and since she expressed her thoughts to me i took the liberty to tell her not to settle down(especially) in friendships cos sooner or later, intentionally or unintentionally friends do part with us. so its important to make it a habit to question what if we do not have this person around us or not have this comfort? and see if we can answer these questions. .. and have an idea that we eventually we will lose everything and its better to be prepared for a change.. because change is the only thing that is constant in this life.
when we were chatting about marriage..she asked me if anyone had proposed me .. it was soo funny.. cos nobody has proposed to me so far .. lol ... i wonder why :))D .. even now i cant stop grinning and giggling .. its strange.. but its true .. cos either my male colleagues were married or were younger to me .. how boring na... These days my silence is kind of freaking me out .. its bcos from past three weeks .. everyday ..3/4th of a day I'm alone. I don't speak with myself also!!! like how appa or ravi used to keep muttering something to themselves when they are alone .. After going through so many traumatic feelings and silently suffering for more than 10 years my health and body has started to given up on me.. now I'm a full time asthma patient.. i remember my father ,chikkamma, ranganna mama and murali mama.. that's pretty much half the family !.. i sud be thankful to god for keeping me non asthmatic at least till now.. I feel like calling my mother and telling her how difficult it is for me to breathe .. but cant hear her sob over the phone .. Surabi came just now and peeked into the full size mirror to see her outfit is wearable and likable to school....there is something very appealing about her... but her tantrums in gods room are not tolerable...she is a such a cute, sweet happy child...
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